Dear Readers,
Please find below a guest post by Maryam Faisal, an inspirational key figure in the field of Eating Disorder. We are grateful to Maryam all she’s doing for the Muslims in the field of Eating Disorders. Please read very inspirational story behind her journey and her great initiative ‘Lone Bench Initiative’.
About Lone Bench Initiative:
I have learned that none of the things that I was told or heard after my ED diagnosis were true. Not only did I not have to be “sick enough” to receive treatment, but I also did not have to be a certain race or religion. All of my experiences pushed me to want to do something about this. I obtained recovery, but what about all those other people that are simply deemed not “sick enough?” That can’t obtain the funds to get the help they need? Whose families or doctors don’t even believe it’s possible for them to have an eating disorder? That is why I worked to create The Lone Bench Initiative. It is a nonprofit organization fighting to make eating disorder treatment more accessible while also shattering myths about eating disorders.
I was diagnosed with anorexia when I was 14 years old. At the time, I felt like my biggest enemy was my eating disorder. Little did I know, there was a bigger enemy lurking around the corner: my insurance company. You’re recovered enough. That was their reason for cutting me off. “Patient’s BMI is normal.” “Patient’s mental state is stable.” That’s what the report from my insurance company typed up by someone who’s never met me before said. I didn’t even know whether my mental state was stable, but somehow, a person far away sitting in an office knowing only my name and insurance card number knew. In the end, I’m blessed that I was still able to obtain recovery. But it was interesting to me that insurance companies wait until people are half dead to provide coverage for eating disorder treatment. With eating disorders, you don’t just fit the criteria in the diagnostic manual, but you must also fit the criteria in people’s minds.
I faced this dismal fact again when I met my family in Pakistan and told them about my issues. The first reaction I received was confusion. “An eating disorder? What’s that?” But the second reaction from those that “knew” was much worse. “Does that even happen to people like us?” “Have you ever seen someone with an eating disorder? They’re all skinny sticks.” I wondered what “people like us” meant. What did my identity have to do with my illness? I later realized that in the eyes of my family and many of the people around me, my identity meant everything. An eating disorder was just not something that happened to a Muslim Pakistani girl in a normal weight body like me.
But even more than that, awareness about eating disorders is severely limited within the Muslim community as well as many other religous communities. I remember one day, there was an iftar at our mosque during Ramadan. The imam at the mosque asked me if I had fasted that day, and I said no. He asked me why, and, because I trusted him, I told him about my eating disorder and how I was in recovery. He started laughing. “You’re not fasting because of some illness? Have you suddenly gotten old?,” he said with laughter. Another time I heard him say that the reason many people have depression nowadays is because they don’t trust in Allah. I felt guilty. Was I not trusting in God?
I have learned that none of the things that I was told or heard after my ED diagnosis were true. Not only did I not have to be “sick enough” to receive treatment, but I also did not have to be a certain race or religion. All of my experiences pushed me to want to do something about this. I obtained recovery, but what about all those other people that are simply deemed not “sick enough?” That can’t obtain the funds to get the help they need? Whose families or doctors don’t even believe it’s possible for them to have an eating disorder? That is why I worked to create The Lone Bench Initiative. It is a nonprofit organization fighting to make eating disorder treatment more accessible while also shattering myths about eating disorders.
On top of that, I want people to see more Muslims advocating for eating disorders. Everywhere I turned to find an account or organization that advocated for eating disorders, I never saw people like me. This further discouraged me from being open about my ED or trying to teach others about it. I hope to be that person that is able to make a stand simply by doing what I do. Luckily, now I have found a Muslim community advocating for eating disorders, but people shouldn’t have to look so hard.
As I worked through recovery, I became more conscious of those around me that struggled with their eating. But for some reason, whenever I went to Pakistan, the number of people that I came across that exhibited disordered eating behaviors almost doubled. “Oh I just gave birth and gained a lot of weight, that’s why I’m skipping these two meals.” “My friend at school told me I’m fat, so during Ramadan I don’t eat in the morning or after sunset either.” “I know my daughter-in-law isn’t eating, but that’s because she shouldn’t have gained so much weight during her pregnancy.” I was in shock. I never saw this many disordered eating behaviors and this much negative weight talk in the States, but for some reason it was absolutely relentless
in Pakistan. I thought about it and realized why. Because there is no awareness. As long as someone is in a normal body it doesn’t matter if they eat nothing for a week. That’s not an eating disorder. This was the idea that pervaded everyone’s minds, and that’s why it was so normal. I
knew I could and I should say something and educate these people, but I was too scared to share my experience. Now, the fear is gone. I am not going to let another aunt, cousin, niece, or nephew go through something terrible that I could possibly help avoid.
So, the Lone Bench Initiative also works to increase access to eating disorder treatment in developing nations–namely the Muslim world. Because just as I have seen it in Pakistan, I have seen it in the UAE, and I have seen it in the Muslim community in the United States. We speak at mosques and community centers, trying to educate Muslim youth on these issues as well as encouraging ways of eating that don’t predispose them to eating disorders. Currently, we are also working on a research paper comparing EDs in schools in Pakistan and in the States. While there have been studies of EDs in schools in Pakistan, there has been no published paper comparing its prevalence to the prevalence of EDs in the United States. As we work on this paper, I hope its results can go to show Muslim governments that the amount of treatment and awareness in the United States needs to be available in these countries as well because the prevalence of ED behaviors is comparable if not worse. We must shatter the myth that EDs don’t happen to “people like us.”
