“Experience is not what happens to you, it is what you do with what happens to you.”
– Aldous Huxley
Please find a letter from one of our friends in Algeria to her Eating Disorder. Sab has suffered from Eating Disorder Anorexia Nervosa for over 30 years now. She is in the process of putting her story together. In honour of World Eating Disorder Day, #shareyourstory, we share something small with you.
Message to Sab:
I hope you remember when we first interacted online, it was on Instagram. I don’t know how to tell you this, but you immediately captured my heart with your beautiful manners and your soft words. Slowly you shared your struggle and your life story with me and I had many sleepless nights. By far this is one of the hardest stories I’ve come across in my life. Few months back we almost lost you to evils of Anorexia and those were the times when in panic from East to West we tried to reach you. I wish I could tell you how tough those days were for us. Every time we dialled your number a foreign voice in French and Arabic spoke on phone. After days of prayers and tears, we finally heard from you. You were in hospital fighting the evils of anorexia. To have you back among us is truly a miracle of Allah and each day you are with us , we cherish your presence. We all love you for the most incredible person you are with an exquisite smile that lights up the earth and the most beautiful heart ever. Stay well, you are in a war with your illness and by God walahi we want you to win this war.
You stole the colour from my world, slowly to begin with and then eventually, all at once. You left me in a world where everything just looked grey. Like there was no purpose. You left me with no will to continue, with a dull aching pain in my heart whilst I looked into the eyes of my friends and family and as an immediate stinging pain of tears arose, I tried to remember how to love them. You started consuming me in a way that made it difficult to describe. You tormented me and my thoughts, you encouraged me to cause great harm to myself, and even when you could see the emotional pain I was in, even when you watched as I could no longer bring myself to smile, even when I was sat on the floor broken, desperately wishing the pain I was in would come to an end, even when I was in hospital fighting for my life as you drove me to nearly costing me my life from my own hands, eating disorder – you still showed no remorse.You threw me in a vast ocean expecting me to drown, yet I began swimming. The waves you put on my path took me, and the person I was, and threw me against the rocks time and time again. Your angry storm left me battered and bruised. At one point I began drowning like you so wished, to the point I didn’t want to be saved. I began not recognising who I was, I was beginning to turn in a shell of a person. Everyone, including myself had lost hope.Oh Anorexia nervosa , did you really think you would win?