Recovery is a Process not Perfection.
Strive for Progress not Perfection.
On your path to healthy living, you’ll have good days, bad days, and days that are “just OK.” Don’t go into your lifestyle changes with the mindset that you have to be perfect all the time, because you don’t! Instead, focus on taking baby steps to health that will help you reach your goals.
Dear Readers,
Here is the second post in Bulimia Help series from Catherine Liberty on having a realistic attitude for recovery. Your recovery isn’t perfect and that’s OK!
Your recovery isn’t perfect and that’s OK!
One of the biggest challenges I remember facing in recovery was the moment when I realised that the process of recovering was going to be vastly different to the ‘perfect’ idea of recovery that i’d dreamed up inside my head.
I fought against the realities of recovery at first, demanding more from myself, refusing to accept that things like relapses and weight fluctuations were going to be part of the process. But ultimately this only served to cause me extreme upset, I felt like a failure every day and i convinced myself that I was just too sick to ever recover.
But then I learned that changing my mindset and learning to appreciate recovery for what it was really could make a huge difference to my feelings. Which leads me on to my first happiness strategy…
Happiness Strategy #1 – Be willing to accept the realities of recovery
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
Mahatma Gandhi
Acceptance is something that almost all of us are going to struggle with at one time or another in recovery.
We may have difficulty accepting that relapses will happen.We may struggle to accept that we can’t have a perfect recovery.We may refuse to accept the possibility of weight fluctuations and make unrealistic demands such as, “I’ll only recover if my weight never fluctuates.”We may not want to accept the fact that change happens gradually and so become frustrated when we can’t “just stop” bingeing and purging.
I think if I tried to list all of the things I originally struggled to accept on my own journey to recovery we would literally be here all day!
But the truth is that when you’re constantly at war with recovery and resisting the realities of it you are going to be miserable.
You will find yourself struggling to remain committed and you will most definitely be having way too many of your own, “I can’t do this” moments.
It is vital that you realize the fact that resistance will only lead to more misery – while practicing acceptance will have the exact opposite effect.
So how do you begin to challenge and alter your mindset?
Well, understanding leads to acceptance, so as a first step take some time to considers the “recovery realities” that you may have been resisting up until this point.
Remind yourself that it’s okay to not like these things, but also understand that the only way to truly move forwards is to accept your recovery journey as it is. Instead of allowing the challenges and relapses to tear you apart, use them instead. Learn from them, look at the lessons they’re teaching you and become stronger because of those experiences.
I look back on my own recovery today, seven years on, and I know without a doubt that my relapses and the darkest of days were the most important experiences. I could not have recovered without the hard times.
Yes you should be pushing yourself, reaching further every day, doing everything in your power to avoid relapsing. But you also have to remember you are facing fears that have trapped you for years, it won’t be smooth sailing, bad days can and will happen, but that’s OK! Accepting them as part of your jouney and something to learn from really can change your entire experience in recovery.
Catherine
Recovery Coach
