Twelve Islamic Steps- Step 9: Restitution and Reconciliation




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 Step 9

A Guide for EDA Members

Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq Lantern of the Path, ‘They should pardon and turn away. Do you not love that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is forgiving, merciful.’

Qur’an: 24:22


 Dear Readers,


Welcome to Step 9 one of the most powerful steps in recovery and in our development : We Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Congratulations on coming so far. This Step would not have been written without the help of Yorimea. Thank you so much for all your help.


Step 9:  Restitution and Reconciliation


KEY PRINCIPLE:  Wherever possible, make direct restitution to all persons you have hurt.

To begin with, “Islam” is gotten from the word signifying “peace” in Arabic. Islam is a religion uncovered to humankind with the goal of showing a serene life where the interminable sympathy and kindness of Allah shows on earth. Allah calls all individuals to live by the ethical qualities He sets so that empathy, kindness, peace and affection can be encountered everywhere throughout the world.

“O You who accept! Enter totally into peace (Islam). Try not to follow in the strides of Satan. He is a through and through adversary to you.”

(Holy Quran: 2, 208)  

In the verse above, Islam inherently calls for peace and encourages an existence in outright earnestness and genuineness before Allah. Thusly it is imperatively vital for a person to have confidence in Allah with his own particular will and desire, and watch Allah’s orders and guidance through individual faithful satisfaction.

As we proceeded onward to step 9, we were prepared to see pardoning. Most importantly, we will discuss on the pioneers and later to the next Muslim faithfuls. Some hadith truly said a few things in regards to this and taking this for the occasion;


“It is better for a pioneer to commit an error in excusing than to commit an error in rebuffing.”

Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1011 

We coveted to offer some kind of reparation. Still, as we confronted with blame and heart hardness, we knew we couldn’t complete our yearnings unless Allah favors us with lowliness. We required strength, practical insight, affectability, judiciousness, and suitable timing. These were not qualities that a large portion of us had around then. We understood that stride 9 would again test our eagerness to humble ourselves and look for the assist and with gracing of all-powerful Allah.

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Due to our encounters in this testing procedure, we offer a couple of recommendations. It is imperative that you are not incautious or thoughtless as you endeavor to offer some kind of reparation. It is just as essential that you don’t postpone offering some kind of reparation. Numerous recouping people have backslid when they permitted apprehension to keep them from restoring friendship and accommodating others.

leaf-bulletPray for Allah’s direction and counsel a trusted counselor for help to maintain a strategic distance from these pitfalls.

leaf-bulletAt times you may be enticed to abstain from meeting with a man on your rundown. We suggest, nonetheless, that you oppose this enticement, unless, obviously, a legitimate limitation keeps you from meeting with somebody.

leaf-bulletA soul of lowliness and sentiment trustworthiness can repair homed connections when you attempt sensible endeavors to meet with the individual. Tell individuals you are drawing closer them to offer some kind of reparation. Regard their wishes in the event that they show they would rather not examine the matter.

leaf-bulletOn the off chance that they allow you to apologize, be brief and particularly about the circumstance you recall. Points of interest are a bit much.


The design is not to clarify or depict your side of things. The design is to concede those wrongs you have conferred, offer an expression of remorse, and make compensation wherever conceivable. Try not to contend with individuals or condemn them, regardless of the possibility that their reaction is not ideal or tolerating. Approach every individual in a soul of lowliness, offering a compromise, don’t defend yourself.


Apologizing for a few activities can be especially tempting. For instance, you may need to address matters that could have legitimate repercussions, for example, deceptive nature or genuine sexual sin. You may be enticed to go overboard or to rationalize and abstain from presenting appropriate restitutions. You ought to determinedly look for clerical or expert advice before making any move in these intense cases.


In different cases, you may have no chance to get off offering some kind of reparation specifically. The individual may be dead, or you will most likely be unable to find where he or she lives. In such cases, you can in any case present appropriate restitution by implication. You can compose the individual a letter communicating your misgiving and yearning for compromise, regardless of the possibility that the letter can’t be conveyed. You can give a blessing to the individual’s most loved philanthropy. You can discover somebody who helps you to remember that individual and do something to help him or her. Alternately you may have the capacity to do something to help an individual from the family secretly.

There may be times when drawing closer to someone else or trying to give reconciliation is agonizing to that individual or even destructive. In the event that you imagine that may be the situation, talk about the circumstance with a trusted counsel before continuing. This a piece of recuperation must never prompt the further mischief of others. Additionally, now and again you may have brought about the mischief that is the past human capacity to repair.

From the minute you choose to embrace these genuine standards as your better approach forever, you start to offer some kind of reparation.


In the wake of offering some kind of reparation for the greater part of your past activities, you may at present have maybe a couple individuals you have a feeling that you can’t confront. Try not to lose hope. A considerable lot of us managed the same reality. We prescribe you take your sentiments in legit petition to Allah. In the event that despite everything you have awesome trepidation or displeasure toward an individual, you likely ought to put off meeting with him or her. To overcome contrary sentiments, you could petition Allah for philanthropy and to see the individual from a plain and clear heart as Allah sees the individual. You could search for positive reasons why compensation and compromise will offer assistance. On the off chance that you do these things and are quiet, the omnipotent Allah can and will—in His own particular manner and voluntarily—give you the capacity and the supernatural chances to be accommodated to everybody on your rundown.

After finishing step 9 to the best of your capacity, you have at long last done whatever you can to place yourself in congruity with the rules of Allah and the genuine instructions of Prophet Muhammad (SAW).

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You have started to experience another existence of trust—not in yourself, but rather in the adoration of Allah. You have gone down into the profundities of modesty and discovered Allah holding up to give you great proposals. You have done whatever you can mend connections and get to be accommodated to others. You have in any event halfway gone into His rest; staying there has turned into your most noteworthy yearning. You are figuring out how to perceive and take after individual disclosure better, which drives you to live in agreement with the teachings of antiquated and cutting edge prophets of Allah. From the accompanying, it is additionally affirmed that;


“Nobility is great profound quality, and wrongdoing is what falters in your spirit and which you aversion individuals getting some answers concerning.”

A Nawawi’s “Forty Hadith,” Hadith 27.

Indeed, even in your most troublesome minutes, you feel another sort of peace. You have figured out how to get the gift straightforwardly from Allah.


Activity Steps

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Love others; shun passing judgment on others; be willing to acknowledge a calling and give individuals who are in need. Likewise, it would be a good thing on the off chance that you can recall your profound heads and consultants. Other things to everybody

“Honorability is great ethical quality, and wrongdoing is what falters in your spirit and which you abhorrence individuals getting some answers concerning.”

A Nawawi’s “Forty Hadith,” Hadith 27.

Previously, on the off chance that you were religiously dynamic, you may have been roused by apprehension of the judgment of Allah or of what others would think. Maybe you carried on of a feeling of obligation. Today you will perceive that there are numerous courses by which you can make things right and don’t lose it.

It is a method for communicating adoration to Allah. It communicates a proceeding with a requirement for His energy and appreciation for His perfect help. Consider whether your action is; still inspired by trepidation or obligation, or in the event that it is a characteristic outgrowth of your confirmation about Allah.

Discover approaches to serve wherever you are. Gotten to be commendable and accessible to serve from multiple points of view without resentment or perniciousness, without bias or malevolence.

As pioneers, you serve your fellow brothers and sisters and for the religion’s purpose of peace show them by words and by illustrations; you will impart to them His living reality in your life. Be willing to do what is important to offer some kind of reparation

In making step 9, you must abstain from getting to be debilitated in the event that others don’t get your expressions of remorse, well or on the off chance that they don’t trust you have truly changed. Presenting appropriate reparations may require some investment and persistence. Give others time to understand that this time is diverse. This time you are not making vacant guarantees; you are living to get a complete reduction of your enslavement and character shortcomings. In the long run, restraint and changed conduct will represent themselves.

Study and Understanding 

The accompanying sacred writings and explanations from otherworldly pioneers may help you in making stride 9. Utilize the prophet’s expressions sent by Allah and all the more significant, the expressions of Prophet Muhammad, the Hadiths, sacred texts and inquiries for reflection, study, and composing. Be straightforward and particular in you are composing.

Affecting Others for Good 

heart_bullet_by_reversalstudios-d5ayvl8Swing to Allah, trust in the expressions of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) with all your brain, mind, and quality and carry on with an existence of flexibility from all persecutions of the heart and of the psyche. Try not to neglect anybody yet rather come back to them, and recognize your flaws and that wrong which you have done in time past.

heart_bullet_by_reversalstudios-d5ayvl8And with these, you can discover support in His sight and your petitions to Allah would be replied with no further defer. Individuals seeing this will affirm about it and will be compelled to impersonate such state of mind.

A portion of the best damage we have done to others is by affecting them to create addictions themselves. Expound on the general population in your life whom you have impacted along these lines.

Where would you be able to discover bravery to confront these individuals?

Influence or Impulse 

“Try not to dismiss a poor man… even if everything you can give is a large portion of a date. On the off chance that you adore poor people and bring them close you…Allah will bring you close Him on the Day of Resurrection.”

Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1376.

That is a decent call to obligation. A basic assignment on our side.

With numerous capable motivations to make step 9, you should never become involved with the justification or untruth that you must choose between limited options.

The Eating Disorder Recovery Program is a project of influence, not impulse. Expound on whether you feel induced or constrained to do step 9.

Question for you…In what ways can you show Allah some trust and can you increase that trust?



On Completing Step 9. What a powerful Step? I still feel shaken by it. Keep moving forward. Allah is very Merciful. I look forward to seeing you make your way to Step 10 Inshallah.



About Author

Islam and Eating Disorders founded in 2012 – run by Maha Khan, the blog creates awareness of Eating Disorders in the Muslim world, offers information and support for sufferers and their loved ones.

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