Growing up under the care of a good mother is one of life’s great blessings. A selfless and strong mother is indeed a gift that we all ought to treasure. Mothers are indeed the special women in our lives who brought us into the world and help to show us the way as we grow up and mature.
Dear Readers,
Happy Mothers Day to All the Mothers across the World. I wrote this post in December 2013, when I went to the Ladies Breakfast morning at our local Church. These are held throughout the course of the year on a Saturday morning and after a fairly leisurely breakfast; fresh fruit, muesli, yogurts, croissants, you have the privilege of listening to an inspirational speaker.
My Friend wanted me to share this post with our readers on Mothers Day. What we both love about this talk is that how this great mother surrendered to God her past, present and future problems including her daughter’s health. She released everything into his care asking him to shut the doors that needed to be shut and open the doors that needed to be opened.
For the privacy reasons, the names in this story have been changed.
Few months back, I had an honor of listening to a great mother whose daughter made a stunning recovery from her eating disorder in just one night. Prior to that miraculous night, Alice’s daughter Sophie had been seen by therapists and eating disorder specialists and had failed to make progress. This great mother gave me so much hope and it filled my heart with new belief that yes eating disorders can be beaten, sometimes it just takes a miracle to heal from your eating disorder. I wish and pray that one day we will all experience this miracle in our lives and the demon of eating disorder will be gone forever, poof, vanished in thin air forever.
Daughter’s Eating Disorder
Alice’s journey is a courageous journey of a mother, who gave up everything to serve her faith, her family and her community. Alice really moved us with her story of her daughter, who at the age of 13 started using self-induced vomiting as a method to rid her body of her food. Alice said that when she questioned her daughter on why she was throwing up her food, she stopped eating and started starving her-self. Meal times became a struggle and there came a time when her daughter was living on half a rusk a day. Her weight plummeted and she was referred to a hospital which was quiet a distance away from home.
Alice’s whole family had to come to terms with the illness, make major changes in their schedules and priorities, and somehow manage to remain a family. One of the parents commuted every other day to and from hospital where their daughter was receiving treatment, while one remained at home ensuring that rest of their children didn’t feel left out or neglected.
When Sophie was discharged from hospital, she went back to school and her anorexia became stronger. Relapse is part of recovery, and most sufferers relapse within six months of being discharged from the unit. Sophie also relapsed and this was followed by another hospitalisation and another attempt by the whole family to make this work.
What I learned from Alice’s talk was that the most successful families tend to be those that are able to move on from seeing the illness as an intrusion toward working together as a team to face the new responsibilities of beating the illness.
Miracle Night
Alice said that it was while Sophie was in hospital the second time that they decided to take her with them on a family trip. She knew her daughter was still unwell and her eating disorder was still very strong, but it was a hope that a change of environment may do her some good. Alice was volunteering for her local church. While camping, one night heavy rains caused all the camps to flood at the campsite. It was like you’re out camping on a very beautiful day, and all of a sudden you encounter an unannounced, unpredicted rainstorm and bad weather. Tested to the ends of her wits, Alice and her children gathered to pray for some relief and for the healing. She said after they had finished praying that Sophie walked back into the flooded camp and asked for some sweets to eat. That was the last day of her eating disorder, and that magical night cured her eating disorder, once and for all.
Coming to terms with Abuse and PTSD
Sophie’s eating disorder resulted from her childhood sexual abuse. She was very young when she was sexually abused by a friend of the family. It was difficult for Sophie to come to terms with and for years anorexia was a way for her to cope with the reality of this abuse. It hurt her as a child, physically and psychologically. She found it very difficult to talk to someone about this. She had repressed those memories which became obstacle during her recovery. It was a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Her PTSD would be triggered at random times during her adult life and she would be sucked into her own world of reliving those memories over. She would shut her eyes and cry hysterically rocking herself back and forth. The psychological affects were more severe. Even after she had a miraculous recovery from her anorexia, the memories of abuse hunted her nights and day. Due to secrecy of this abuse and the taboo surrounding it, it caused confusion, fear, anger, shame, self-blame in her life. It also caused serious problems in her professional life.
When Sophie told her family about the sexual abuse, it was one of the most difficult things for them to deal with. Learning that Sophie was hurt by someone they trusted left them feeling overwhelmed. Alice and her husband supported Sophie and the matter was taken to the Police.
Forgiveness Forgiveness and Forgiveness
After months of court battles and therapy sessions, Sophie and her family came to a point in their lives where they surrendered their past pain to God and asked for healing. Sophie: “I forgive my greatest enemies and those who I have vowed that I would never forgive.” By an act of her free will, she choose to forgive everybody, including the person who hurt her the most, her greatest enemy whom perhaps she had vowed subconsciously that she would never forgive. By forgiving she choose to set herself free.
Happy Beginnings
Today, despite all the odds, Sophie is a successful practitioner and a wife to a most wonderful man. It’s a great ending, and the photos of Sophie as a Bride show a healthy, seemingly content woman. She credits God every day with saving her life, and it sounds like the perfect happy ending to her personal struggle with anorexia.
I asked Alice to share with our readers what helped her to deal with the trials and tribulations of dealing with her daughter’s eating disorder. She very kindly agreed to share the points that helped her to face the adversities of life.
1. Choice…..when bad things happen we have a choice to either run away From Jesus or run to him.
2.Knowing Jesus loves us no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in.
3.Honesty……be honest with the Lord tell Him exactly how you feel…He knows anyway but loves you to talk to Him in relationship,
4.forgiveness…..as we forgive those who have hurt us intentionally or unintentionally it frees us. Personally I have only found that possible because I Know how much God has forgiven me.
5.Giving up my right to understand….peace comes when we lay down our right to understand and choose to trust God.
6.Thankfulness…..for all the good
7.Worship…. worship is a choice when you are feeling like rubbish.
8.Friends …… good friends you can be honest with and you know wont judge you, but love you enough to speak truth in to your life.
9. Gods amazing grace……The truth is Gods grace comes when we need it and not before.The decision to trust Jesus releases the flow of grace in to our lives and draws us closer to Him.
1 Comment
A very beautiful and shocking post