Dear Readers!
Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form. ~Rumi
Beating Eating Disorders is all about Changing Your habits, re-conditioning your Mind, One Step at a time. Few things are more demanding than eliminating Eating Disorder habits, since they are part of our daily routines and personality. It takes days, weeks, months, years and a lifetime of patience and practice to break bad eating disorder habits.
AN attitude of gratitude can really help one to defeat the demon of Eating Disorder. I met beautiful Human Rights activist Lorraine in Swansea in 2007. We both were delegates at the Human Rights Convention. At that time, I didn’t have a full blown Eating Disorder, whereas Lorraine was just recovering from chronic Anorexia. She nearly died in hospital from her anorexia and for weeks she was fed through a feeding tube. In 2010, my ED was very very bad. In 2011 after a stint in the hospital, I met Lorriane in London and I learned one thing from her and that was an art of gratitude.
Lorraine was an atheist but after a near death experience in hospital, she became a devout Christian. Aside from renewing her relationship with God, she studied Buddhism and immersed herself in living a life full of gratitude. In her past she was bitter, bitter with her father for abusing her, bitter with her ex for domestic violence and bitter with the whole world for failing her
In 2008 she made a decision to change her life. She started off with forgiveness. She forgave everyone who had hurt her. It was no easy feat, but she managed this by repeating a forgiveness affirmation to herself each morning- “I forgive everyone who had intentionally and unintentionally wronged her.”
Eating Disorders and Ingratitude
In the shadow of Eating Disorder, one often becomes blind to small blessings in their life. I spent four years stuck in the limbo of my Eating Disorder, everyday I struggled to drag myself out of bed, in spite of those perfectly good reasons to face the day, such as good family, friends and relatives. I slogged through my days unaware of the fog that choked me.
Lorraine told me that she has spent so much of her time focusing on gratitude and happiness now that she don’t even have to work to remember why she should be happy.
My first step towards changing my habits was acknowledging and identifying the concept of ingratitude I practiced in my life everyday : First step was to admit that I had developed many bad habits with my eating disorder, such as anger, resentment, lack of will to do anything, comparison and numerating. If you are in a state of denial, you won’t recognize that you have a bad habit to change. Like Rumi said:
Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open? ~Rumi
Always remember that Eating Disorders are not caused by a lack of knowledge, any more than they are caused by a lack of wanting to be better.
Whenever the darkness of Eating Disorder creeps in, I instinctively try to beat it back with a list of blessings and then I simply break down, because how can I count the blessings of my Lord?
As the Quran states: “Who created you, fashioned you perfectly, and gave you due proportion” [Infitar 82:7]. As humans, Allah has bestowed on us the nature to be grateful and we should thus express that gratitude not just to Allah but to the people whom we deal with as well.
Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life. ~Rumi
Everyday just before going to sleep, I devout 10 minutes of my time focusing on gratitude and happiness. Everyday I am reminded of all the places where joy can usually be found. I know about the miracle of time with nature, getting drenched in British rain, reading a good book, offering my prayers to my Lord, and the power of giving thanks to Allah and His people. Contentment is no longer something I’m searching for, but rather something I strive to embody and encourage.
At the core of the teachings of Islam is the idea that to be happy or content we must be grateful to God, not just for what we perceive to be blessings but for all circumstances. Whatever condition we find ourselves in we are grateful and sure that it is good for us as long as we are following the teachings of God. God said:
“Therefore, remember Me (God) and I will remember you, and be grateful to Me (for My countless Favours on you) and never be ungrateful to Me.” (Quran 2:152)
Every moment, every day with every breath Say thank you like you mean it. Thanking Allah everyday glorifies and magnifies Him, but did you know doing this also benefits us? Allah doesn’t need our thanks, but we need to give it so we can become what He wants us to be: unselfish, encouraged, and confident.
Do this Small Exercise Every Day for 40 Days .
Buy a Journal- Label it as a Gratitude Journal
Every Night before you go to sleep, right down 5 things you are grateful for in life
Repeat this exercise for 3 days
After 3 days Right down 5 Things that you are grateful for in life, i.e. weather, comfy bed, mum, pet, etc…
Repeat this for 5 days.
After 5 days , write down 10 things you are grateful for in Life.
Repeat this till you have completed your 40 days Cycle.
In addition to the offering gratitude in the 40-day period of re-conditioning your mind, the increased spiritual exercise and connection with Allah, can transform your habits for life.
For 40 days, everyday before you go to sleep, think back on your day and Thank Allah for all the blessings in your life. Right it down. Keep a gratitude Journal not just for 40 days but for rest of your life. It’s hard, but results are amazing.
Robert Emmons: People who keep gratitude journals on a weekly basis are healthier, more optimistic, and more likely to make progress toward achieving personal goals.
Having a sense of gratitude is thus a great blessing, such an easy way of seeking Allah’s pleasure, thus relieving us of the many pressures and anxieties.
Gratitude is knowing that whatever we have is from Allah.
Write in your gratitude journal for 40 days, and you will see how your attitude to life has changed remarkably. You will find how negative thoughts and whispers of the demon of Eating Disorders have become less and how your mind is more focused on Allah. You will feel better in yourself and you will become more aware of all the blessings in your life. Defeating Eating Disorders is all about changing your mind-set. One step at a time.
Remember that it’s in us to beat the demon of eating disorder: Don’t believe the old saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” You can break away from your eating disorder behaviors if you really want to. No one else can else can do that for you.
Hear blessings dropping their blossoms around you. ~Rumi
Good Luck
حظا سعيدا
