Bulimia Recovery Tip # 1
By Kate Walsh
Kate Walsh is the eating disorders’ researcher and publisher who is interested in the psychology behind the eating disorders. Bulimia in particular is the subject of her deep interest. After many years of the research, she has started to share the information which might help people in their recovery.
I received these tips from Kate Walsh and I really value them. I believe in ED recovery you have to try everything and knock on every door. Knowledge is power and the more you learn about your disorder, the weaker the demon of ED becomes.
I simply share what I tried in my recovery from ED. I hope this may prove useful to someone.
Happy Recovery.
The power of your subconscious is tremendous, much bigger than your willpower, what makes the recovery not easy to progress. This is why you have to act intelligently in order to start re-programming yourself to be healthy.
You should actively and constantly work with two areas of your life: your EMONTIONS and EATING.
Your binging/ purging occurs as your biological or/and
emotional response. Here are some examples:
* When you restrict your food intake, your biological
instinct to survive makes you eat/binge;
* Stress (or rather your emotional response to stress)can make you binge;
* Some bulimics binge in order to be able to purge, because purging gives a false, short lasting impression of removing bad feelings and emotions the body;
So in your recovery, it is important you start sorting out
both: EMONTIONS and EATING.
Also, you need to have your RECOVERY PLAN in place. This plan will keep you on track even if you relapse (which may happen at one point or the other).
OK, so by this time you know the following:
1. You need a conscious decision about your recovery;
2. You need to forgive yourself;
3. You need to act smartly with the understanding;
4. You need to make your recovery plan;
5. You need to work actively and constantly with your
emotions and eating;
Every single one of the above points is very important.
Let’s come back to your PLAN and what to do next.
Winston Churchill during World Word II said:
‘Failing to Plan is Planning to Fail’
This has been quoted by high achievers from many
disciplines and it is also true in your bulimia recovery
process.
Your Plan is actually a crucial element of your recovery.
If you don’t have one, you are like a drifting boat which
goes wherever the wind blows…
Next, you should start writing. You should hand write
(don’t type on your keyboard!). There are many reasons why handwriting is better for you.
Whatever you write on a piece of paper becomes a ‘statement’ and it is valid forever (because writing captures a moment of your life the same way like a picture or video does).
When writing by your hand, you are very close to your feelings and thoughts and it is much easier than explaining them in speaking.
Hand writing is also one of the gates to your subconscious mind.
You will probably need 2 notebooks (writing pads):
*1st notebook will become your DIARY; where you will write what you currently think or feel.
*2st notebook will become your PLANNER; where you will put your action plan.
The reason why I don’t suggest using only 1 notebook is to keep your plan separate from ‘other stuff’ you write.
I start with your DIARY and come back to your PLANNER in the next lesson.
You can write your diary as often as you wish. Some people
do it even a few times a day. You don’t have to do it
every day (or even every week), but I recommend you to write
every time when you feel strong emotions (positive or
negative).
Always try to put a current date before you start writing.
No matter what you write in your diary; don’t blame
yourself after you start writing ‘horrible things’, just
write them down.
Take your emotions out of your chest.
Often you will write what your subconscious wants you to
believe (things like: “I am not worthy, I’m fat, I’ll never
recover…” and so on). All these thoughts will be coming
back to your head during the recovery. You should take them
out by writing them down.
You may notice that writing down your negative feelings,
reduces number of times you binge/purge (because instead of
binging/purging you take your diary and write). For some
people writing makes a huge difference. For others, it is not
enough to prevent them from binging/purging, but for sure
writing is very helpful.
What Do You Feel?
Every time you finish writing and feel there is nothing
else to say, you should draw a line and write a question
under it: ‘What do I feel?’
Your answer to this question should refer to the names of
emotions (like sadness, tiredness, happiness, anger, hate,
disappointment, hope etc.) Keep it simple; when you angry,
just write ‘I’m angry’. Don’t write why (the answer is
above in your diary entry).
This short exercise, will help you to learn how to name
your emotions and it will also keep a track of them. So you
will learn how to quickly recognize your emotions when they
appear.
Ending this lesson, I would like to come back to
FORGIVING (I mentioned this last time).
The process of forgiving yourself is extremely important,
because it is like giving yourself a PERMIT FOR RECOVERY.
When you feel guilty or when you blame yourself, you have
this natural idea of giving yourself a punishment.
Bulimia becomes your punishment. It is vicious cycle really.
For example, you may think something like ‘I was so stupid
when I started to purge. Now I have bulimia and I am
worthless. I got bulimia, because I was stupid and now I
have to pay the price of my stupidity’ and so on.
Well, even though it makes some sense, this kind of
thinking indicates that you are blaming yourself badly. And
this guilt is blocking you from making progress in your
recovery.
You have to let it go by forgiving yourself your current
situation (your current situation = your bulimia)
I know one great exercise which can definitively help you. You need a pen and a piece and paper (I suggest you write directly in your diary).
Find time when nobody else will distract you for a few
minutes. Take a deep breath and write (on exhaling):
‘I forgive myself’
Repeat this 30 times. This exercise uses the power of hand
writing, repeating and breathing. It uses a short & sharp
statement which is like a commend to your subconscious.
I suggest you come back to this exercise every time you
start blaming yourself in your own thoughts. This exercise
can become your immediate ‘fight back’; the way you break
the vicious cycle you are in.
I also suggest you extend this exercise over other people
you may blame for your bulimia (like your parents or
friends). So you can breath and write ‘I forgive my mum’
30 times. Even if you blame celebrities for your bulimia,
do this exercise! I hope you got my point?
No matter who do you blame for your problems, you should start the process of forgiving. This exercise can make miracles! With the time your blame disappears and you will stop punishing yourself eventually.
End of First Lesson.
