He said: I only complain of my grief and sorrow to God, and I know from God that which you know not.
When Prophet Job lost his family, He turned to Allah with patience
Verily, distress has seized me, and You are the Most Merciful of all those who show mercy.’ So We answered his call, and We removed the distress that was on him, and We restored his family to him (that he had lost), and the like thereof along with them, as a mercy from Ourselves and a Reminder for all who worship Us.
Quran 21: 83-84
Please find below a diary entry of a young sufferer from Gulf States. Please read this with open mind. We share this in order to raise awareness of silent suffering and pain. We encourage you to please help us in our war against eating disorders till they are history. Let’s help our loved ones and let’s not judge them, label them and isolate them. The worst thing we can do to a sufferer is isolate them. Isolation will simply push them further and further into dark world of Eating Disorder.
I look at the words and I can actually process and read them, I put on my clothes and I don’t look like a hanging rod, I look at food and no fear enters my soul. They think I am alright, even now I do. What they don’t get is that I miss the past, where cold was the only feeling there is and when I would sit in class unable to think, I was so miserable and lost yet some part of me wished for nothing more. I feel still sad on all that was lost, now I have good health and a working brain yet I still find myself missing my misery and pain.
“What is wrong with me?” I keep wondering, but I know there’s none, I was created by the All Mighty. My faith still is there but people were never in my place. How can I miss such an agonizing time? Maybe it is because nothing anymore feels right. To me, what was right was the self-torture and seizures from rage attacks, now I can control my feelings and anger all too well, why then do I still feel like a part of me was lost. All I did was gain love and happiness yet why do I still feel like all I knew was lost?
Reason for that is, I was never taught love, I still remember as a child when I cried ‘I deserve respect!’ yet I was beat time and time again by the words ‘No you don’t!’ no one said it was wrong, rather they all agreed. How can a 7-year old grow, with no self-respect? I no longer am sane I have lost all there was to gain. How can I accept what I grew up knowing was wrong, funny thing is, the adults said that it was only me. They all deserved respect because they knew what pain was. And me as young, I was nothing. Don’t they regret it? Don’t they?! I never heard the word sorry, not even as spit in the face.
People may ask how I stay calm and go on, the naked truth is that I don’t. Humans, we are, and we were created weak, the only strength we have is from our creator, but something people seem to miss is that weakness is needed for there to be strength after. It is only now I learn a lesson that I have to share; crying and shouting and feeling so sad, that is all normal and a part of what we should all go through from time to time, no shame should be felt, you may lay in bed afterwards feeling hopeless and helpless, that too is okay and normal. The main point is to get up when you feel better and take care of yourself and your soul, read Quran or listen to it as you sleep, you can watch motivational Islamic videos or talk to a loved one. The lesson here is that we are all humans suffering together, and we are all worth being taken care of and being respected. Don’t be ashamed but don’t let the demon be in the driver’s seat.