unworthiness is a myth

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healing for Ed

As we realize our belonging, the trance of unworthiness dissolves

Forget what you want.

Forget what turns you on and lights you up.

Who you are is inherently not good enough and what you want is not possible anyway.

Dear Readers,

Please find below a very wonderful article from Lauren Cowne from Heal ED on ‘unworthiness is  a myth’. This is a very powerful artile and we hope you’ll find it useful in your journey to recovery and healing.

 

 

Unworthiness is a Myth

 

 

Since I was a kid, I have been drawn like a magnet to everything personal growth, spirituality, self improvement and self empowerment related.  I always thought I was such a weirdo!  
For so long in my life I felt like everyone else received the instruction manual for life and somehow I missed it.
I’ve always known I was different, and my entire life I have searched and sought for the answers.  I felt like I didn’t belong and I didn’t fit in.  
I came to believe there was something wrong with me, and I didn’t accept myself for who I was.
Years ago, when I went through my eating disorder recovery, I learned how to accept myself and love myself exactly as I was, but there were definitely still parts of me that I still found unacceptable, unworthy and ashamed of.
As the years go by, I continue to explore deeper and deeper layers of learning what accepting myself really means.
These past few months, I seemed to have cracked open a part of me that I have never accessed before– and I’m realizing that the key to this has been one thing:
ACCEPTING ALL PARTS OF ME NO MATTER WHAT.
No matter if it feels messy.
No matter if it feels too much, or not enough.
No matter if I have fear of being judged or criticized.
I have been giving myself permission to just SHOW UP AND BE ME.
I have been unleashing my true authentic self and have never felt so alive.
I have offered myself RADICAL SELF COMPASSION AND ACCEPTANCE at a level I have NEVER felt before.
In this space, there is SUCH a FREEDOM.
I have never felt so aligned to my soul.
I have never felt so peaceful and joyful just being alive.
I am creating and prioritizing my art– DAILY.
I am showing up for myself in ways in which I never imagined were even possible.
And can I tell you?  I am SO grateful for you being on this journey with me.
This all wouldn’t be possible without your love, your care, your compassion and your support.
I am getting back to the heart of WHY I do this, WHY I show up, and WHY I give so much of myself.

ACCESSING YOUR INNER RICHES

 

The very nature of our existence moves us toward a life that is safe, comfortable and predictable.

This is called being human.

But what happens when that becomes boring, unfulfilling and just doesn’t make you happy?

This is the untold story of millions of people all over the world.

We grow up in a society that tells us that success looks like ‘this’:

This is who you should be.

This is what you should want.

This is what you should work for.

This is what you need to become, in order to finally become “happy” and “successful.”  You have MADE IT.

Forget what you want.

 

Forget what turns you on and lights you up.

Who you are is inherently not good enough and what you want is not possible anyway.

We buy into these lies

We listen and sell ourselves to their promises over and over again…

We are programmed into thinking that we need to live a certain way in order to be happy, successful and free.

How’s that working out for you?  

I have to say, it didn’t turn out too great for me.

I achieved what some would call “success” and yet— when I get really honest with myself, it really did NOT make me happy.

I realized that in that process, I lost who I was and bought into a lie that when I got to a certain point that everything would be perfect, wonderful and amazing and my life would flow like water.

It couldn’t have been further from the truth.

Really, I am so grateful for all of my experiences because they have taught me so much. I have learned so much about myself these past few years especially in discovering — what is it that is really going to make me happy?

And not happy on the outside either. I think happiness is something that many people are seeking, but to me happiness is not something that is an external pursuit— ‘happy’ as an emotion is fleeting anyways.

What I AM talking about here is INTERNAL SATISFACTION, a FULFILLMENT from within.

Knowing that everything I am doing is in ALIGNMENT with my soul and who I really am.

Because for me— that is really the point of life. To not pursue those external ‘measures’ of success— for it really doesn’t matter how much money you have in the bank or what kind of car you drive. Those are all manifestations of external success— which is great, don’t get me wrong.

But if that is the ONLY thing that you are seeking— well, you are going to run into some trouble and find yourself even more unsatisfied and unfulfilled the more weight you put on external things to make you happy.

What it is really about is finding and discovering your INNER RICHES. Those things that you do just for the pleasure of doing them. 

The way of being that feels good, joyful and in alignment with who you really are. 

This is the process of finding and discovering the purpose and passion of your life: falling in love with what you are doing, who you are being, and having gratitude and acceptance for the present moment.

This is where true fulfillment comes from.

This is where we find who we really are and what we are meant to do in this life.

This is the process of finding your purpose.

Over the last few years I have been doing so much soul seeking and researching and studying about purpose— what it is, why its important, and how to discover it.

There are many viewpoints and perspectives offered out there— and what resonates most with me about purpose is that there probably isn’t just ONE thing that we find to be our purpose.

We have many different purposes and we can discover new ones and multi-facets of each purpose throughout our lives.

 

But that in that finding of the thing that lights you up— your purpose— you start to feel fulfilled, in alignment and excited about your life each and every day.

That doesn’t mean that every day along your purpose path is going to be easy.

It doesn’t meant that it won’t be hard, or there won’t be challenges.

In fact, the road of purpose actually contains TONS of challenges, lessons, and opportunities for growth.

There will be massive resistance some days, and doing the thing that is most in alignment with your soul may actually be the LAST thing that you want to do that day.

Because it is EASIER to be comfortable, to sit back and allow fear, laziness, self doubt and procrastination to take over.

This is what we must fight against and face internally as we pursue our path to purpose and doing our true work in the world.

It is a two fold path and seems contradictory in nature. Purpose to me feels effortless, I drop into flow space, I could do the thing FOREVER AND EVER, time just STOPS, I feel ever-in -alignment with who I am and my true nature. It is a state that I absolutely would give anything to access every moment of every day.

But what happens is that there are forces beyond us and within us that come in to try and block us from accessing the state of ease and grace and flow and effortlessness— and THIS is what we must remain vigilant and protect ourselves against.

I can’t even tell you how many days I have let this resistance win.

I have allowed myself to succumb to the lower desires of fear, laziness and procrastination. To put off my dreams and not follow the desires of my heart.

And that is a natural part of the process until you get to a point where the purpose, the passion that you are working on integrating and becoming in your life— becomes so big and too important that there becomes nothing else.

When I explore this area of purpose I find myself asking— what do I really want?

If I’m truly honest with myself, what I really want is really really BIG. It is SO big that it freaks me out a bit.

But here comes the challenge— because if I stop now and do not pursue it— I know that I will be eternally unhappy and unfulfilled.

There is no amount of money, material possessions, fame, success, or ANYTHING that could possibly replace the levels of satisfaction and fulfillment that comes from going after your dreams.

I know I have chased things that were out of alignment with my heart and I have paid the price.

I am so grateful for everything that has happened to me because it has forced me to realize what is most important to me.

And that is— to always stay true to Myself. God. My Soul.

I have allowed myself to be thrown off my path, causing me to lose my connection with who I am and what is important to me.

Those things didn’t make me happy.

Staying true to myself means that I pursue my purpose and passion with all my heart and every fiber of my being.

It means COMMITTING to my SOUL and creating my TRUE ART, unleashing my true work here in the world.

As scary as that is!! It is something that I have been desiring and putting off for so long. And I feel so good and in alignment saying that it is now time for me to do the work. To show up for myself each and every day. To not settle for less than what I know I desire and deserve.

Imagine— if you could have a clean slate in your life, if the entire palate of your life was wiped clear and you could create anything you wanted in your life, what would you do?

Who would you be?

What would you want?

Where would you go?

Who would you choose to surround yourself with?

This is such a powerful exercise to do to help you get clear on what is really important to you and what your true purpose is in life.

Imagine that you didn’t have any of the responsibilities or things in your life right now that you feel obligated to— what would you be doing differently? How would you want to show up? What is it that you would say NO to? What would be a HELL YES?

I asked myself these questions every day for months on end and it was an interesting process for me. First of all, I didn’t realize how OBLIGATED I felt to certain things in my life and how much GUILT would come up as a result of letting those things go.

I had to let go of any shame and guilt that I had around simply taking the focus off others for a short while and focus on myself.

Because I do believe it is important to focus on being of service and helping others— it has always been at the core of who I am and what I do— but we have to go within FIRST and ask ourselves—

What do I really want to be doing?

How am I meant to serve?

Who does God want me to be, and what is in alignment with His Will for me?

Who am I meant to help today, and what would feel good and in flow to me?

When you can answer these questions of yourself— you will find your true purpose and will find fulfillment in yourself and also in the offering of value to others.

But it has to come from a place of alignment with your soul FIRST.

I am so grateful to have been walking the path of alignment and purpose and passion for so many years now, and even more grateful that I have allowed myself to change and my purpose to change as well.

Over the course of your life, you will probably have many different purposes and if you don’t give yourself permission for that to shift and change and evolve with you— then you probably won’t get very far along the path.

Giving myself the room to grow has made all the difference— and yet at the same time it is incredibly scary.

No one likes to face uncertainty. We don’t want to feel unsafe or like life is unpredictable.

However this is the essence and nature of life to begin with. The only thing constant in life is change— and we have to learn how to be grounded in the wisdom of uncertainty while always pursuing the desires of our heart and creating those things in the world that we are meant to give and contribute.

So what is it that feels most in alignment for you to be doing? Who do you want to become, and what is it in your life that you would be doing if money wasn’t an issue? What is your true purpose and passion in this life? What do you want to be remembered for?

These are powerful questions for you to dive into, also remembering that this is an evolutionary process and very rarely does it happen where we one day wake up and have an epiphany of what that true purpose is.

Most of time it happens slowly over time, as we wake up each day and continue to work hard at doing those things that are most fulfilling and challenging to our souls, to allow us to grow and become the people we are meant to become.

We allow ourselves the space and the energy to drop into the vision in order for us to live our greatest life and become the best version of ourselves we possibly can.

This is fulfillment. This is purpose. This is passion and creating your dream life that is born out of your SOUL.

Give yourself permission to drop into this place today, and remember—

You can be, do or have anything you want.

What are you creating today?

Sending so much love and healing energy your way beautiful soul!!

In light + love,

xo Lauren Love

 

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About Author

Islam and Eating Disorders founded in 2012 – run by Maha Khan, the blog creates awareness of Eating Disorders in the Muslim world, offers information and support for sufferers and their loved ones.

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