Hidden Voice of an Eating Disorder- Let’s Get Real

0

cropped-Arabic-Logo.png

 

At that moment, without a doubt with all those creepy little voices, I had to close my eyes. Hell!! They are screaming so loud. Hold on!! That empty void within me. I was breathing so hard, it felt like I was about to die; at last, I slept… or I haven’t. I couldn’t move. My thoughts are still going insane; I should be okay I think. No longer until I start to realize that there is no escape, it’s a dream – more like a nightmare, I suppose.

 

Dear Readers,

 

Please find below a very raw and very real account of Eating Disorder struggle. This presentation was given by a young sufferer at a university in Middle East. Thanks to Dr.T.B. for allowing us to publish this presentation on our blog. This is in honor of upcoming ‘NEDAwareness Week’, National Eating Disorders Awareness Week – Monday, Feburary 26 – Sunday, March 4, 2018.

The theme this year is Let’s Get Real and the goal is to expand the conversation and highlight stories we don’t often hear.  And Yes, these are the stories you don’t often hear.  Thank you to this courageous person for creating much needed awareness of Eating Disorder struggle in Middle East.

NEDAwareness_Save_Date_Subsection-Title_Graphic_700x310

 

 

Trigger Warning:  This maybe triggering for some people. 

border

 

 

Hidden Voice of an EATING DISORDER

 


Specific Purpose: To shed some light and give insight as to what it is like with the hidden voice of an eating disorder

Title of the Speech: Hidden voice of an eating disorder

  1. Introduction
  2. Attention device

One night, it was raining heavily; I was lying in bed shaking uncontrollably. I knew at some point that the rain might stop, and the sun might shine. But simply the negativity in my mind, intruding me into a place I don’t want to be, reflecting upon things unnecessarily. For a while, with all those rapid thoughts, I would think to myself, questioning would for this reason denial divert into acceptance; provoking a million of other questions that are surely left unanswered.

For all the darkness that surrounds, and hell!! All the messy voices that crush deep down, holding me so tightly, it is suffocating.

At that moment, without a doubt with all those creepy little voices, I had to close my eyes. Hell!! They are screaming so loud. Hold on!! That empty void within me. I was breathing so hard, it felt like I was about to die; at last, I slept… or I haven’t. I couldn’t move. My thoughts are still going insane; I should be okay I think. No longer until I start to realize that there is no escape, it’s a dream – more like a nightmare, I suppose.

    1. Motivation for listening

So you all might be wondering what my topic is all about. Well, it is about the secret illness, the silent killer, which is basically the hidden voice of an eating disorder.

    1. Thesis statement

Today, I will be focusing on three main points that might as well change one’s point of view about those who are going through it.

In the beginning, I will inform you about what an eating disorder is and how it blindly starts, and at the end, I will mention some myths of an eating disorder.

  1. Body

    1. First main point

Let’s begin, so what is an eating disorder? An eating disorder is a serious mental illness that causes an individual to experience several abnormal eating habits as well as disturbed weight control behaviors. Indeed, there are many types of an eating disorder but the most prominent ones are anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge eating disorder.

To keep it short, anorexia is where a person obsesses with the amount of calorie intake they consume and they tend to constantly starve themselves although they are already underweight.

Moreover, bulimia is when a person binge eats and when I say “binge eats”, I don’t really mean overeats. NO!! I mean literally they ingest over 3000 calories in one go, they eat till they can’t breathe, and at that moment nothing else really matters. However, the amount of guilt, shame, and disgust they feel afterwards makes them purge all the food away, whether by throwing up, over-exercising or even abusing laxatives.

Binge eating disorder is almost similar to bulimia, it is where they have no control over what they eat, and they constantly eat each and everything even when they are not hungry, except they don’t purge. You know, it feels like their brain is not connected with their guts.

One thing all the different types of an eating disorder have in common and that is, no matter how many pounds they lose, they would still want to be lower. Their goal weight keeps dropping and dropping. It is just never enough. It is basically “them never wanting themselves”.

    1. Second main point

Moving on to the next point, which is how blindly an eating disorder starts, I am not going to talk about the biological, environmental or even the social factors as most of you might be aware of those. For now, I will focus mainly on that deep toxic inner voice that keeps on replaying inside their heads. Unfortunately, convincing them that they are not good enough, that they are fat, ugly, disgusting, worthless, and so on. It is difficult to even distinguish between that voice and their real self. That voice is just so powerful that it knows how to give them a false sense of comfort, false sense of control, and at the same time, it knows how to hurt them and slowly destroy them. That voice is their worst enemy, yet trying to fool them into being their best friend.

    1. Third main point

To keep going, now I will mention some myths of an eating disorder. Let’s begin with, eating disorder is a choice. Well. Seriously!! So now you are telling me, he or she chose to have this illness. Huh?  It’s a serious life-threatening disease OKAY and to you, they chose to have it. Right I congratulate you. “Just eat healthy. Don’t be silly”, they say. That doesn’t work here alright!

Moving on now too, eating disorders are glamorous. I want to have an eating disorder to be beautiful. Oh right on. Wait wait just wait. Wake up!! What do you think an eating disorder is? A thin happy beautiful girl! Well no just NO!! It is you staring at food and crying because you really want to eat but you just can’t get yourself to eat. It is you staring chewing and spitting just to feel the taste. It is you counting calories for hours and hours. It is you skipping all the outings that include food. It is you blacking out whenever you stand. It is you throwing up and not being able to stand but guess what? You will still continue in hope you feel a little bit better. It is you wishing you were even never born. How beautiful. Your knuckles will bruise. Your jaw will crack. Your chest will hurt. Your hair will fall in clumps. You’ll slowly lose yourself. You’ll lose just lose everything but your weight. Do you really still think eating disorders are glamorous? I mean sometimes water which is a basic need that is essential for our survival is difficult for them to drink. Can you even imagine that?

Last, if you can’t see it, that doesn’t mean it is not happening. As if pain only exists when you’re bleeding or when you are sickily thin, and that too, you are seeking attention. 4, 8,12,16, 20,24,27,30 of what? For seeking attention??

  1. Conclusion
    1. Summary of main points

As you can see, eating disorders are dangerous mental health problems that are frequently misunderstood by others. Sometimes for a person who suffers from such an illness, it takes only one trigger from you to push them over the edge.

 

Closing statement

How many of those individuals going through an eating disorder had it under control and now are 10 feet under?

Share.

About Author

Islam and Eating Disorders founded in 2012 – run by Maha Khan, the blog creates awareness of Eating Disorders in the Muslim world, offers information and support for sufferers and their loved ones.

Leave A Reply