“Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.”
– Winston Churchill
Please find below a very helpful post by Shaye Boddington. I hope you’ll find it very useful in your journey to recovery and healing.
Cure Bulimia Nervosa: The #1 Step Your Recovery Can’t Do Without
Every night I’d collapse onto my bed, exhausted from the days bingeing and purging. I’d lay there longing to discover a cure for bulimia nervosa…
I wished there was a pill I could take that would make it go away. A quick fix for the relentless binge urges that waged war on my mind all day long. I was terrified that I’d be bulimic for the rest of my life… recovery seemed a million miles away and I had no idea how to get there. But…
After 10 years lost in bulimia, I did recover! Here’s How…
It wasn’t a magic pill or any miracle that got me here… I recovered thanks to 3 relatively simple steps that when understood and practiced result in the transformation of your brain from…
- Bulimic to normal eater
- Self cruelty to self love
- Obsession to peaceful and calm
The 3 steps that make this awesome transformation possible are…
- Eliminating Primal Hunger
- Developing habits of self kindness
- Re-wiring your brain from bulimic habits to normal eating habits
I talk about all 3 of these techniques in my Online Recovery Program, but today I’m going to talk a little more to you about #2… Developing habits of self kindness…
Why Self Kindness is Critical to Cure Bulimia Nervosa
I used to think that self kindness was for “The weak”. I thought it sounded a little icky actually. I was Shaye: I was strong and it was self toughness that got me places.
I approached my bulimia recovery in the same way and punished myself if I didn’t do it perfectly…
I told myself I was a ‘Fat bitch’ if I gained weight. I told myself I was ‘weak and pathetic’ when I purged. I told myself I was ‘A piece of shit’ if I binged.
I was in an abusive relationship with myself. A relationship that chipped away at my heart and soul every moment of every day.
It was hell on earth.
And there was no way that I would ever cure my bulimia if I continued on that path.
What Self Cruelty Expects From You
Self cruelty expects you to BE perfect and to DO everything perfectly…
And I’m sorry to tell you this – but both of those things are impossible.
Recovering from bulimia is not a perfect journey. There are slips and setbacks. There are moments where you feel broken and there are times when you fall.
Self cruelty will keep you stuck in a loop of falling and giving up. By midday when you haven’t lived up to your perfect standards, you give up entirely promising “As of tomorrow I’ll never binge and purge again”
But with self cruelty – tomorrow will be exactly the same.
How Self Kindness Will Help Cure Bulimia For Life
It’s easy to overlook the importance of self kindness in the recovery journey – but this is a massive mistake. The other two steps in my Bulimia Recovery Program may seem more interesting – but without self kindness they will not work.
Self kindness is the glue that binds the steps of recovery together.
It’s the mature and loving voice that says “You’ve got this gorgeous, it’s hard right now, but it’s going to get easier”.
Self kindness will give you the motivation to keep going, despite the imperfections of the recovery journey. It will find any progress you’re making, focus on it – and by doing this, invite more progress into your life.
Self kindness focuses on positivity. It focuses on the good stuff…
…And whatever you focus on only grows stronger.
Self kindness will help bring normal eating and peace into your life!
How To Re-Learn Self Kindness
Self cruelty is a habit – and it’s a habit that you can change!
The first step is realizing the importance of changing this habit. Realizing that you can’t cure bulimia nervosa (and have a beautiful life!) until your habits of self cruelty become habits of self kindness.
The next step is acknowledging that self kindness is something you want in your life. You make it your goal to be loving and kind to yourself. You can think of this step as planting a seed…
Now you need to water this seed so that it becomes a beautiful and thriving plant.
You water the seed of self kindness by practicing self kindness at every given opportunity. By asking yourself…
- What is the kind thing to do right now?
- What would be the kind thing to say?
When I first began working on recovery and would slip up and binge, I’d find myself beginning to say…
“You’re so useless, Shaye. It’s only 10am and you’ve binged already. I knew you couldn’t get through the day!”
Then I’d remember the importance of self kindness and I’d SHIFT my thinking – I’d ask myself what “What would kindness say?” and I’d start again…
“That hurt beautiful girl, I’m sorry. But you’ve got this – one step at a time. Let’s get a drink of water and a smoothie to replenish your electrolytes”.
In the beginning you will need to consciously choose kindness. It won’t be automatic. But the more often you choose it, the more natural it will become…
In time self kindness will be effortless 🙂