Happy are those who find fault with themselves instead of finding fault with others.
Muhammad (Essential Sufism)
It’s very important we keep good company in life. Please say no to pro-mia, pro-ana sites. Please be careful in life. This person went through so much pain, so much grief. Now she has given me permission to share this story on my blog. This is a raw reality of life. I’m glad very glad she pulled out. Allah is very Merciful. We share this to create awareness. She said her inspiration came from Uncle M, the man sho saved her life.
December 2015- Islamabad 3am
I received a phone call from UK- A man I know quiet well was very worried. He had just picked up a young girl from restaurant/bar. The young girl was behaving oddly. It was a long night for him, the girl, his other friend and his wife. Somehow this girl’s drink (which she thought was non-alcoholic) was spiked. She went out for dinner and as a joke her friends ordered her Pina Colada laced with rum. God works through his people. The taxi she got into belonged to a man with great heart and morals and values.
I salute him and admire him for dealing with person so well.
He’s a good man, some call him ‘Mr Cabby’, some call him ‘Mr Freshie’, Some call him ‘Mr Taxi’, to me he’s a man of great virtue. You can read about his struggle with his daughter here
December 2015- Islamabad 4am
Last week was a nightmare, something strong saved me, maybe it was the prayers. I was online when a friend from pro-mia site told me about get together. I have these friends online who help me achieve my goals. We come from different backgrounds. It was a nice evening. We went to a bar/restaurant. It was behind my parents back. S did my make up. We spent two hours getting ready. She told me tonight I was going to break hearts. The jeans were snug but they fitted. I looked like million dollars. At the bar/restaurant. We ordered drinks. S said have pina colada it doesn’t have alcohol. It looked so nice, coconut milk, pineapple, cute umbrella, toasted almonds. It was so strong. “What’s in this”, I asked S, , “magic”, she screamed in my face.
I didn’t like the drink, but I kept on drinking. There was a man who kept on coming on to us. He kept on telling me how good I looked. It was so uncomfortable. I went out to answer my phone. My brother was calling me. It was only 7pm. I’ll be home by 8pm, I thought to myself. When I went back inside, this drooling man was holding my drink. He said he was waiting for me. Nervous I took large sips of my drink. I wanted to go home now. My stomach felt so queasy.
My head was spinning.
I wanted to move and I couldn’t, I felt my tongue was getting very very dry. I immediately went to bathroom. It was a blessing in disguise, I started throwing up. I sat there for 30 minutes, locked up in disabled toilet by myself. I walked out of the bar area and got even more sick. I saw a black big taxi. I saw this man looking at me. His face was getting big and big. Then I was in his taxi. I couldn’t talk. My tongue was dry.
When I woke up, another man with a very long beard was there and there was a woman in big black headscarf.
The lady took me home. It was 4 am in the morning. Thank God my parents and brothers were not home. My grandmother was up crying. She’s half blind and has diabetes. She didn’t know where to look for me.
His friend’s wife came over to check on me next day. My family was still in Salisbury. She helped me to eat some breakfast. Made lunch and hoovered my house. My fifth day in my room, I’m raw broken and petrified. I spoke to Uncle M on phone and he told me to email you. I was crying, I didn’t know who to talk to and who to call. He said “change your company, those are not your friends, start fresh”.
IF words come out of the heart, they will enter the heart, but if they come from the tongue, they will not pass beyond the ears.
Al-Suhrawardi (Essential Sufism)
Long story short. Pina Colada was laced with rum, that’s why the taste was strong. And later Someone put something bad in my drink.
Aunty N tells me about that Night: I kept on taking off my shoes, trying to jump out of the car. I started to take off my jacket and that’s when Uncle M panicked. He called his other friend, Uncle S who also does taxi and He came with his wife. His wife said, when she saw me, I was swearing at him. She had to run after me on the street and get me back into his big taxi by force.
I don’t remember anything. By God, I don’t have a single memory of that night, except I was sick and I went out to get fresh air.
I threw away my phone away and deleted all my accounts. I threw my outfit in bin, skinny jeans, a fitted crop top, mini leather jacket and high heeled boots.
I’m dying from inside. My parents don’t like S. They never like the way I dress. And finally I understood why. I felt so cheap in that imposter outfit.
Please Pray for me.
I go to doctor soon.
27th May 2016
It’s been 6 months since that incident. I’ve done quiet well with a therapist. I was worried about going back to university. But it all worked out. My first year is finally over.
I’ve been praying.
After 6 months, I mustered the courage, I went to thank the man who saved my life that night. I’ve been in touch with Aunty N for months now. That night, I gave him such a hard time. I swore at him, called him all names in the book. I went to Aunty N’s house, he was there. I saw his big black taxi. He was sipping tea and reading a news paper. I felt so tongue tied. My hands so clammy. “Uncle I wanted to thank you”, I said. “You saved my life, “Thank you”.
He got up. “It’s OK putar” (punjabi word, means my child) He said.
“This is a thank you card”. He smiled. I had some Pakistani tea with them. When I was leaving, he did something which will remain with me forever.
He put his hand on my head. I closed my eyes. I don’t know how to explain that moment, what I felt. I opened my eyes. “My daughter came to see me, I’ve nothing to give to you”, He put his hand in his front pocket and gave me £20. “This is what I earned from my last job”, he told me. “Buy something for yourself for Ramadan. It’s a gift. Your a good child, take care”.
I walked home and now I look at that £20 note sitting on my bedside table.
This Ramadan I’ve a lot to work on. Leaving that company of pro-mia friends has been the best thing in my life. I know you’ll be happy with my update.
All my Love xxxxx
One of the Best Prayers I was Given about Company was three years back by Haniya from Iran. This was translated from Turkish into English. It was given to her by her late grandmother. I say this everyday. It helps. I feel somehow when I do this prayer, Allah sends good people my way, who teach me about goodness in life.
“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.”
– Jean Shinoda Bolen
Prayer is related to the bioelectrical and biochemical make-up of the brain. In truth, most prayers serve to replenish the brain’s bioelectrical energy supply, for this energy is evaluated by the brain, and uploaded to the wave-body, as knowledge and power.
Take Ablution and Perform two Rakahs of Salat in solitude, then make a prayer in prostration… Say:
“O Allah! The Rabb of the Arsh , the Spirit, and all of the angels! I pray to you with the consciousness that I am nothing in your presence; I am inexistent!
O Allah, please enable me to comprehend your reality, please forgive me for all of the mistakes I have made inadvertently and out of weak will!
O Allah, the Rabb of Muhammad (saw)! Facilitate for me, the path of those you have favored and blessed, and protect me from becoming misguided!
Honor me by putting me among the chosen ones. Befriend me with those you love most, and ease their practices for me also, make me of the beloved ones!
Facilitate the experiencing of the realities you have bestowed to your beloved ones, show me my mistakes and help me to correct them.
O Allah, other than whom nothing exists! O Allah, who creates everything with perfection, and whose comprehension is impossible! Ya Hu Ya men Hu ?
For the sake of your Absolute essence, save my perception from blindness, enable me to discern the absolute reality, and allow me to fathom it!
Bless me with such certainty that no form of doubt or duality ( shirq ) can ever find way into my heart again!
O Allah! I seek refuge in you from whatever may be impeding my experience of approaching the absolute reality ( Haqq al-yakeen ).
I seek refuge in you from you!
I seek refuge from being in your presence with a sense of self (identity). You are the protector and your power overrides all things. You are the Rabb of the worlds, the Azim !
Help me to deservedly and duly know your Rasul, who taught these truths to us. Bless him with the utmost of blessings, however he deserves it, for we are impotent from duly praising him”…
And keep praying as it comes from your heart while prostrating… Know that your prayers will reach the One in your essence, and your Rabb will answer you… From you, have no doubt!
This Prayer is From Ahmed Hulusi’s Book ‘The Essence of Man’.
“ You will never see a deviation in Sunnatullah (the mechanics of Allah’s system) .”